


The Optometrist is a Woman?

by aducklingmuggingyou



Category: She Loves Me - Bock/Harnick/Masteroff
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Genderbent Paul, Inspired By Tumblr, Kodaly sucks, Paul is a woman, Paulina doesn't get cold apparently, and her name is Paulina, and just other general stuff about it, inspired by a tumblr thingy I saw, she loves me is amazing and there should be more fanfics, whoever said that Ilona should be with a woman, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aducklingmuggingyou/pseuds/aducklingmuggingyou
Summary: It was like a lightbulb lit up so fast in her brain, that it immediately exploded. Why hadn’t she thought of that before? Ugh, you absolute idiot! Ilona thought, mentally kicking herself for being so stupid. Of course she could tell someone about Paulina, she just had to think of the right way. And she did.-OR-Ilona, being the natural gossip is she, just wants to tell someone about her new partner.
Relationships: Amalia Balash/Georg Nowack (mentioned), Paul/Ilona Ritter, Steven Kodaly/Ilona Ritter (mentioned)
Comments: 1





	The Optometrist is a Woman?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Okay so I think we can all agree that She Loves Me needs more content, so I thought you all might enjoy this short fic! I was inspired by this post "Headcanon: Paul is actually short for Paulina, the optometrist is a woman, Ilona is gay. Have a great day." by poledancingghostson. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all like this short fic!

“Goddamnit, ‘Lina, you know how I hate telling you what to do, but it is too cold for this,” Ilona complained, watching Paulina at the kitchen table, putting on her shoes. She was cold just looking at the woman, and was definitely not about to let her walk outside with no coat on. She really did despise ordering her partner around, which she had to thank Kodaly for, but the last thing Ilona wanted was for Paulina to get sick.

“Oh, stop fussing. I’ll be fine,” Paulina rolled her dark eyes, strands of hair a matching color falling in her face. She didn’t look up at Ilona, still focusing on the small buckle of her cherry colored heels. “It’s just a quick outing and then I’ll be back home and warm. Ilona,” she added, finally facing the petite blonde and seeing her worried expression. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Ilona gaped. “NOT A BIG DEAL?! Paulina Havas, you put your coat and hat on right this minute!” Huffing at her girlfriend’s look of exasperation, she quickly walked over to the coat stand and presented the item to her girlfriend.

Paulina took it silently.

“Put this on. Do not take it off until you are inside the building for the interview. Put it back on and button it all the way up for the walk home. I am not having you fall ill just before Christmas, Paulina.”

Conceding, Paulina looked up from her seat at the kitchen table and smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Ilona.”

“You’re welcome. Now, get up off your ass, put your coat on and let's go!”

*******

Several hours later, Ilona was at work, thoughts of Paulina and her resistance to the cold out of her mind. Honestly, she didn’t understand how someone could go outside in the middle of winter with no protection against the cold, and just. . . not get cold.

Finishing up what she had been doing (it was a quick job of helping Amalia fit some new cold creams into the storefront window), Ilona hummed along to the song playing in the background and moved on to her next task: setting up some new perfumes in their rightful places on the shelves that lined the walls.

It was quite a boring day at Maraczek’s Parfumerie, but she knew that the shop would soon be packed with people looking to do some Christmas shopping. Ilona was grateful for the calm before the storm, as it gave her time to prepare for the long, busy two weeks ahead. Maraczek’s was a rather small establishment, but very nice. There were big windows facing the street on both sides of the building, glass and wrought iron shelves lining the brightly colored walls, and friendly faces everywhere. It reminded Ilona very much of a candy store, though nothing in Maraczek’s Parfumerie was edible. There was, however, a quaint little bakery next door, which Ilona loved.

Reaching up as far as she could to try and place a green bottle on the top shelf, Ilona grimaced. It was at times like these that she loathed being as short as she was. Ilona was about to jump up and try to get the bottle where it needed to be, when an all too familiar shadow loomed behind her.

“Need some help, sweetheart?” Steven Kodaly asked silkily, taking the perfume bottle from Ilona.

“No,” Ilona replied curtly, trying to reach over and grab the bottle back. The last thing she wanted to do was speak to  _ him _ . That man had ruined her life in more ways than one, and she loathed the fact that she still had to work with him. Ilona often berated herself for even getting involved with a coworker in the first place. She had known that she couldn’t afford to quit, and the fact that their relationship had ended in a fiery heap of nothingness didn’t help that fact.

Kodaly smirked, his smile almost as slick and oily as his hair. “If you’re sure, darling,” he said, quickly setting the bottle down in the correct spot on the shelf, knowing that it would annoy Ilona even more. Winking at her, Kodlay began to walk away. As he did so, however, Ilona felt one of Kodaly’s hands slide down her back and then--

_ Oh! _

Yelping quietly, Ilona turned around and glared at him. He had no right to do that! Ilona felt like running over and slapping that mockingly sly smile off of his angular face. She didn’t say anything, however, because there were customers in the room and she didn’t want to cause a scene. What an uproar that might cause.

Ilona quickly decided that she did not want to be in the same room as Kodaly. Packing up the rest of the colorful bottles, Ilona made her way to the back workroom. It was a small room that split off of the parfumarie, colored in much warmer and earthier tones than the main part of Maraczek’s, which was mostly bright pinks, greens, yellows.

As she entered the workroom, Ilona tried to set about her work. There was so much to do before the Christmas rush, and there seemed to be so little time. But, as the blonde sat down at one of the three desks in the room, her brain couldn’t seem to let anything go. It angered Ilona that Kodaly couldn’t take a hint. She had told him how she felt about his actions, then quite literally told him to go to hell. But he just couldn’t help himself, could he?

Ilona briefly wondered how many women had been in her exact position with Kodaly before, but quickly pushed any thoughts of him out of her mind. She was with someone who loved her, and who she loved back. Paulina was quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to Ilona, and she was intent on not letting her go so easily.

There was one thing that was bothering her, however (aside from everything related to Steven Kodaly). Ilona had made a promise to herself that she would find someone better than Kodaly, and she had! And being the natural gossip that she was, Ilona was desperate to tell someone about it. But she knew that she couldn’t. 1934 was not the time to announce to everyone that she, a woman, liked other women in the same way that Georg liked Amalia (Ilona suppressed a giggle at the thought of the arguing pair).

Ilona loved Paulina, and wanted the entire world to know, but knew that no one would take it well. She wished that she had a way to tell--oh.  _ Oh! _

It was like a lightbulb lit up so fast in her brain, that it immediately exploded. Why hadn’t she thought of that before?  _ Ugh, you absolute idiot! _ Ilona thought, mentally kicking herself for being so stupid. Of course she could tell someone about Paulina, she just had to think of the right way. And she did.

Just as quickly as Ilona’s face had lit up, it settled into a devious expression. She supposed that Ladislav and Amalia wouldn’t mind hearing about her new partner, “Paul”. She smiled and was finally able to set to work, her mind clear to focus on her newest task.

@@@

“Hello Amalia! Hello Ladislav!” Ilona greeted cheerfully a while later. 

The two clerks smiled at her, returning hello’s as they entered the room. After taking a moment to situate himself, Ladislav Sipos - a cheerful man (Ilona detested the fact that he thought himself an idiot) that she had been friends with ever since she started working at Maraczek’s - narrowed his eyes at her. “You look happy,” he noted suspiciously.

Ilona glared back playfully. “Why is that such a surprise to you, Mr. Sipos? Is there some reason why I shouldn’t be? Has someone died, and I haven’t been informed yet?”

“You escaped here an hour ago, looking like you were about to kill someone,” Amalia noted, sitting down next to Ilona at the work table. She leaned forward and rested her arms on the dark wood, smiling. Today, her chocolate colored hair was tied back into a neat bun, her azure eyes twinkling joyfully. “What changed?”

“Oh, so no one died?” Ilona teased, dancing away from what she wanted to say and what she knew they wanted to hear. “Not even Mr. Kodaly?”

“Ilona!” Amalia gasped, while Ladislav laughed loudly. 

The blonde woman shrugged. “No? Huh, what a shame. I’m sure many of the women he has dated would have loved to dance on his grave. Then again, he’d probably look up their skirts anyway, so maybe that isn’t the greatest idea.”

Ladislav’s chuckles increased, while the look of shock on Amalia’s didn’t waver. It took a moment, but soon the former pulled himself together. “No one died, Ilona. But what has got you in such a good mood? You’re cracking jokes and everything!”

Ilona smiled secretively, gently moving some boxes she had been wrapping to the side. She giggled when Amalia adjusted herself to accommodate the colorful packages. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes!” Ladislav and Amalia answered in unison.

“Alright. Well, about a month ago, after You-Know-Who canceled our last date, I made a vow to myself to never date anyone like that again,” Although they were great friends, Ilona had never really told Amalia or Ladislav about the depths of her terrible relationship with Kodaly, and she didn’t feel like getting into it then. But, she wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t enjoy the feeling of freedom life now presented, no matter how much she shared with her friends. “The next thing I know, I’m standing in the middle of the library!” Ilona explained to them, knowing that they both knew enough about her to understand why it was a very strange thing indeed.

Ladislav furrowed his brow, gazing at Ilona from where he stood against a wooden pillar in the middle of the room. “Really? Why?”

“I have no idea,” Ilona replied. “But there I was, reaching for a book I certainly couldn’t tell you the name of, illiterate or not. It was then that I realized where I was, and immediately froze.”

Amalia nodded in understanding. Being a bookworm herself, she knew how imposing the library felt, especially to someone who had never been there before.

“I don’t know how long I stood there, mortified, before someone tapped on my shoulder and asked if I needed any assistance. I immediately turned around, and came face to face with the most beau--handsome man I have ever seen. He had dark eyes and hair, a gentle smile and was carrying the biggest stack of books. Must’ve been seven pounds, at  _ least _ ,” Ilona recounted with what she was sure was a lovestruck grin, remembering how adorable Paulina looked in that moment. “It took me a few moments, but I told him no. He looked at me for a while before offering to help me over some hot chocolate,” Ilona focused on not slipping up with the pronouns with every bit of willpower she possessed in her small body. She knew the consequences would be great if she did.

“And?” Amalia asked, interested. 

“Well, I agreed and we went to a small cafe downtown. We talked for a while, and suddenly he said something along the lines of  _ ‘I just couldn’t go wrong with The Way of All Flesh’ _ . Which, of course, is a novel, but I didn’t know that,” Ilona blushed, recalling her actions with a laugh. “So I slapped him.”

“You WHAT?” Ladislav blanched, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

At the same time, Amalia worriedly bit down hard on her lower lip. “Ouch!” She hissed, but recovered quickly, wanting to hear more of the story.

Ilona flushed, but continued on with her story. “I slapped him, but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he only smiled at me and offered to help me with my reading.” She explained, smiling gently. “And--oh, may I be quite honest with you both?” 

Her friends nodded.

“Oh, I just feel so happy when I am with him. My sweet, gentle, kind Paul.”

“Paul?”

Ilona nodded, her expression glowing with pride. “Yes. He’s an optometrist,” she giggled at the sounds of appreciation from the two other people in the room. “And I love him very, very much.”

“I bet you do, Ilona, by the way you’re blushing,” Amalia joked, causing Ilona’s hands to fly up and cover her face. “I’m only teasing. But it does s--”

Suddenly, the door to the workroom opened and a very familiar face walked in. “Georg!” Everyone in the room exclaimed, surprised to see the ex-salesman in Maraczek’s workroom. Georg had been fired the previous week due to his apparent innificency of being able to fill cold cream bottles correctly. Ilona thought that it was all very unfair, and was overjoyed to see him here again.

“What are you doing here?” Ladislav asked while Ilona jumped up to give Georg a huge hug (she had to jump, the man was so tall). Even though it had only been a few days, she had missed him dearly.

“Hello to you too, Ilona,” Georg laughed as he hugged the tiny blonde woman back. “I came here to fire Mr. Kodaly,” he added, answering Ladislav’s question in the most straightforward way he could think of. Georg didn’t think dancing around the question would do anyone any good.

Amalia raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Ilona gasped and pulled away from Georg. She couldn’t believe it! Kodaly would finally be gone from her life, and she didn’t even have to do anything. “Oh, Georg, really? He’s really gone?” Ilona inquired hopefully, looking up at him.

Georg nodded. “Mhmm. Mr. Maraczek told me himself. He’s alright by the way, just a little banged up.” If Ilona had been paying more attention to him, she would have noticed Georg share a knowing look with Ladislav over the top of her head. The owner of the parfumerie had apparently shot himself while cleaning his gun a few nights ago, and was now in the hospital healing.

Ilona cheered, her smile wide and bright, before her thoughts were overtaken - yet again - by the woman she loved. Ilona found herself practically vibrating with anticipation. She must tell Paulina! “Georg, may I have the rest of the day off?” Ilona asked, placing a hand on his arm to get his attention. “I just remembered that I have an appointment that I simply cannot miss.”

Georg looked back at her and grinned. He knew that excuse well; had used it himself just last week. “As long as you don’t quit your job, then yes. You may go.”

“Thank you, Georg!” Ilona hugged him again before running and grabbing her coat, hat and gloves. Stopping at the workroom door for a quick moment, Ilona turned back to her amused-looking friends “Goodbye everyone, see you tomorrow!”

With that, Ilona walked out of the workroom and back into the belly of Maraczek’s. “Mr. Kodaly! Oh, Mr. Kodaly! May I speak with you for a moment?” She called as sweetly as she could manage. Rage still rose up in her when she caught sight of him. Ilona marveled at how she had been seduced by that man. Twice, even!

Kodaly looked briefly confused, but excused himself from his conversation. The customer looked disgruntled, but Ilona didn’t pay much attention to that.

“What is it, my dear?” Kodaly inquired when he reached her. His smile was as coy and disgusting, and Ilona’s entire being screamed at her to run far,  _ far _ away. 

Ilona stood her ground, however, and smiled sweetly at him. She knew that she was invading his personal space, but honestly, Ilona could care less. He had done it to her so many times that Kodaly deserved a taste of his own medicine. Ilona raised herself up on her tiptoes, so that their lips were almost touching before she spoke.

“Burn in hell, Steven Kodaly.” Then, in a moment of selfish and deliciously sweet vengeance, Ilona stomped her heeled foot down on his toes as hard as she could.

*******

Walking out of work that day to the sound of Steven Kodaly’s cries of pain felt like a balm to her invisible wounds.

Ilona practically skipped down the street, passing the bakery next to Maraczek’s, her mind occupied with thoughts of freedom. Meeting Paulina may have been the first step in a long process of moving past that time in her life, but stepping on Kodaly’s foot felt like a huge leap in the right direction. As she turned the corner, Ilona suddenly remembered a quote Amalia had read to her a while ago.

_ “The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom, courage.” _

If it were even possible, Ilona’s smile became wider with joy. She felt that fit pretty well.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading!! Kudos and comments are appreciated! Stay safe, everyone! :)


End file.
